If you’re avoiding or caught in distraction, it’s a good bet that you’re resisting the emotion. That means that you don’t want to feel it — you feel there’s something wrong with feeling sad, angry, anxious, etc. In your head, you might think there’s nothing wrong with these feelings … but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to feel them. Maybe you think you can’t handle it, or it’s too hard.
There’s nothing wrong with resisting the emotion. It’s human to resist! But as long as we’re resisting it, it will have a power over us, and avoidance becomes unavoidable.
If you’re up for letting go of your resistance, the practice is just to let yourself feel the emotion. Just feel sad, lonely, anxious, frustrated. Sit in stillness for a few minutes, and just let yourself feel it. The main instruction is to relax — let your body and mind relax, as the emotion comes up.
Surrender to the emotion. It’s rarely that difficult, and will usually only last for a minute or three. If it’s too intense, you can stop — do something to take your mind off it.
Whether you’re able to surrender to it or not, give yourself a few minutes of self-care after. Give yourself compassion, love, a nice warm cup of tea. Get a hug from someone, or talk to a friend or therapist. And acknowledge yourself for whatever you were able to do.